After being shunned for too long, a great ex-Florida quarterback may finally get a chance to show the NFL that he can play pro football.
No, not him.
The Dolphins were going to work out Rex Grossman on Monday. He hadn’t thrown an NFL pass since 2011, but it didn’t matter.
Grossman could have not thrown a pass since 1911, and he’d still get an audition before You-Know-Who.
He is so famous I don’t have to use his name. I will, of course, just to ensure this column will get a lot of Web hits.
Tim Tebow. Tim TEBOW. TIM TEBOW!
There, that should overload Google for a few minutes.
As much eye-grabbing copy as Tebow has provided over the years, I pray this is the last time I’ll write about him as a player. Or a wannabe player, to be precise.
It’s time to move on. You know it, I know it, your kid’s goldfish knows it. Everybody knows it except Tebow.
He’s still working out like a maniac, consulting a passing guru in Los Angeles and campaigning for another NFL shot. Tebow was asked last week whether he’s now a better quarterback than he’s ever been.
“By far,” he told USA Today.
In the past, that would serve as a perfect set-up line for a joke. But this quixotic QB quest has gone from funny to silly to sad.
I say that as a Tebow admirer. I love the guy. I want my daughters to grow up to be just like him. If you agree, it should pain you to see him lost in this deluded fog.
He’s turning into Baghdad Bob, the old Iraqi information minister who kept insisting Saddam Hussein was obliterating coalition forces as U.S. tanks casually rolled past him.
“I will defeat the NFL infidels!”
Tebow’s enablers aren’t doing him any favors. Like when Urban Meyer was asked at Big Ten Media Days why Tebow isn’t in the NFL.
“I still don’t get that part of it,” he said. “He’s the second-most efficient passer to ever play college football.”
Meyer gets it, but he’s not going to diss the guy who helped deliver him two national championships. What Tebow needs is an intervention. Friends should interrupt his daily bench-press session and make him read the news out of Dolphins camp.
Miami needs a backup quarterback because everybody it has is either hurt or terrible. Grossman, who’s been rotting on the Redskins’ bench for two years, was supposed to work out Monday. He backed out, supposedly because another team is interested.
Fear not, Dolphins fans. Brady Quinn and John Skelton are supposed to try out later this week. Maybe they can unseat current third-teamer Seth Lobato.
Yes, that Seth Lobato.
Most teams will carry three quarterbacks. There are probably 150 players auditioning for those 96 jobs. Tebow can’t even get an interview.
Among those who can are Ryan Lindley, Sean Renfree, Brad Sorensen, Thad Lewis, Brendon Kay and Brock Osweiler. Tebow should be forced to recite those names until he realizes the NFL will never again call his.
Then hopefully he’d realize that’s OK. He had a fabulous run. How many other NFL washouts have 2.67 million Twitter followers and get invited to Vanity Fair’s Oscar party?
A Kentucky legislator just introduced “The Tim Tebow Bill.” It would make it easier for home-schooled students to play sports in public schools, as Tebow did.
As far as I can tell, there has never been a Joe Montana Bill, much less a Rex Grossman one.
This is a perfect time for a career transition. The SEC Network debuts Thursday, and Tebow will be the analyst for the traveling pregame show. If the network is smart, it will quickly develop a reality show around its star.
Fans would love to watch Tebow buy groceries, perform circumcisions and drive around Sunset Strip with Bruce Jenner. What they don’t need to see is him staring at the phone hoping some team will give him a call.
I’d say his NFL campaign is just a way to publicize his new job, but Tebow isn’t that conniving. I fear that in 10 years he’ll still be staring at the phone, believing he’s a better QB at 36 than he was at 26.
For your own good, Tim, let it go. There’s a much brighter future being yourself than trying to be the next Seth Lobato.