4:00 PM Oct 16, 2015
Some say that instant messaging and email are destroying our language.
5:00 PM Jun 26, 2015
Donald Trump was born in a 300-room log cabin in Trumptown (formerly known as Queens), New York in 1946 and elected president of the U.S. in 2016. From his humble beginnings as the son of an extremely wealthy real estate developer, he lifted himself up by his bootstraps to become an extremely wealthy real estate developer. His struggle to remain rich taught him many life lessons that came in handy on his way to the highest office in the land.
4:00 PM Jun 19, 2015
It’s time for us to start thinking of moving into a smaller house -- a house with only one level, with less to clean and repair. We’ve decided we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives vacuuming rooms we don’t use, dusting things we don’t need and washing things we don’t want anymore.
9:00 PM May 29, 2015
I just spent two hours writing a letter on my computer that would have taken me a minute and a half on a typewriter. It took another hour to print the envelope.
6:00 PM May 22, 2015
The coupon said, “Fresh New Country Scent!” and there, floating over a background of tree-covered hills, was a giant can of room deodorizer.
6:00 PM May 15, 2015
My plane is leaving in 20 minutes, and I’m still on the freeway, 20 miles outside of town.
5:00 PM Apr 10, 2015
Spring is in the air. You can see signs of it everywhere -- the grass seed commercials on TV, the Miracle-Gro commercials on TV, the allergy commercials on TV, my baseball team losing on TV and the grocery stores selling plastic lawn furniture once again.
5:00 PM Mar 13, 2015
I saw the first sign of spring today. A robin. It was dead in a snowdrift, frozen solid as a TV dinner. I saw it while I shoveled the driveway yesterday.
4:00 PM Mar 6, 2015
With HBO and Netflix, Sue and I probably watch more movies at home than we ever saw in a theater.
4:00 PM Feb 27, 2015
Representatives of my daughter Heather-Ashleigh will be in the office today selling Girl Scout cookies. Of course, no one should feel any pressure to buy from her just because she’s the boss’s daughter. I know there’s a rumor going around that Roberts was fired last year for not placing an order, but that’s not true. He was fired for wearing a suit on casual Friday.
4:00 PM Jan 30, 2015
The networks are blasting us again with specials with titles like “The Most Unforgettable Moments of 2014.”
4:00 PM Jan 23, 2015
Marissa asked me if I had seen the new picture she had posted on Facebook this morning.
4:00 PM Jan 2, 2015
An old maple tree blew over on our lawn during the last storm, and I’ve been chopping it up with a chainsaw.
5:00 PM Dec 26, 2014
Every day, thousands of people post adorable videos on YouTube of their cats doing cutesy-wootsy, puddy-wuddy adorable things, while our cat just sits there waiting to be fussed over.
9:00 PM Dec 19, 2014
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge visited America recently. Maybe you heard about it. If you didn’t, I’m sorry to hear about your coma and hope they can wake you up soon.
5:00 PM Dec 12, 2014
‘Tis the season to jam the mailbox with catalogs.
7:00 PM Dec 5, 2014
Surefire holiday recipes for anyone