Caitlin Rickard: In plane view...and some other conspiracy theories

Guys, where is that plane?
Mar 19, 2014
Caitlin Rickard

Guys, where is that plane?

If you’re tired of hearing about Flight 370, I’m sorry, and also, teach me your ways. If you don’t know what I’m talking about… wait, what?

How can you not be completely obsessed with this story, but then again I’m super big on conspiracy theories, all and every kind of any topic or origin.

Seriously, though, it’s like Where in the World is Carmen San Diego, but if Carmen San Diego was on an international flight with 239 other people. And also don’t forget the giant metal container they were flying in has also vanished without a trace. 

This is whole story is a blockbuster film waiting to happen, like where was Liam Neeson to save the day when you needed him?

I think through it all we’ve got theories of terrorism/hijacking, mechanical error, pilot error, meteor or missile strike, sabotage, aliens, pilot or passenger suicide and some new Bermuda Triangle area.

Saying David Copperfield made the plane disappear as his next big magic trick would almost be as believable as some of the things I’ve read. I think Gob Bluth made a yacht disappear on one episode of Arrested Development, so really the possibilities are endless.

I kid, obviously, but it’s only because I genuinely don’t know what to believe. Right when I start thinking one way a sketchy piece of evidence steers me the other way.

Why were the passenger’s phones ringing? Better yet, how did not one single solitary soul on that flight not send out a text or call through it all? Was there no in-flight WiFi? If it was a mechanical error why didn’t the pilots radio for help? If it was pilot suicide, why do you have to go down like that, bro? Taking your own life isn’t enough you have to take 238 others with you and cause the biggest manhunt in reported history? Etc. etc. etc.

Also, I know this didn’t happen, (I mean it obviously can’t, right?) but aliens, wormholes, that weird Bermuda Triangle thing, I secretly, yet out loud, believe in that stuff and love it. I guess what I really mean is it intrigues me because, like this, there’s really no concrete evidence or answers and there’s always sketchy conflicting stories, signs and (possible) government cover-ups. 

So to recap, we’ve one of the world’s largest planes filled with passengers, including children, from multiple countries and the best explanation I’ve heard hasn’t even come from anyone remotely related to the investigation. Most of those involved have said “I have no idea” or “we don’t know how this could happen,” so the government has been super helpful there.

If we want to find this plane, at this point we can’t really afford to rule out anything. Don’t just hone in on one angle of the story or body of water, search everywhere guys!

At this point if Inspector Gadget or Scooby Doo and the gang have any ideas on this; I’m all ears.

Most of my other conspiracy theory roots begin with disputed suicides like Marilyn Monroe’s, continue to hazy homicide and assassination cases like MLK and JFK, resume with questions surrounding accidental deaths like that of Princess Diana, and always include questions about whether we really landed on the moon or the CIA covering up events like UFO sightings.

Is there life of Mars? What is Area 51, really? Were some vaccines really invented to cause autism or HIV and AIDS? Was Shakespeare real? And for heaven’s sake, what is the Illuminati, really?

I think it all stems from the fact that I love that old show Unsolved Mysteries and I still do. So it’s not just all about the celebrity and high profile cases but I’m just as invested in the cases where Jane Doe says her husbands Army death was covered up by governmental bodies. Good stuff.

There’s not enough space in this column or even a catalog of encyclopedias for me to keep writing and asking all the questions I have on this topic.

I’ve actually got to stop with all of this now because it’s freaking me out. Is the government reading this? Am I flagged as a threat and am now under the watchful eye of Big Brother? Do they think I’m onto them and as a result will try to do away with me? 

I know they say it’s good to have an overflowing imagination, but in this case, is it? 

Wait, who is “they” anyway? 

Caitlin Rickard is a staff writer for The Democrat. Email her at crickard@lebanondemocrat.com or follow her on Twitter @wilsonnewswritr.

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