Do you know when I finally realized I was an adult?
It’s when I started buying fish on a regular basis. Same for spinach.
Growing up, my Dad would make us eat fish. The kind with the eyes looking back at you. You couldn’t leave the dinner table unless you took at least a few bites. No matter how much ketchup I’d slather on, it still tasted awful!
Now that I’m adult — I grill salmon. Then plate it on a bed of spinach. Seriously — that’s how old I am now!
I’m going to be 50 years old in December. Me! Fifty! No way!
Saying — out loud — “I”m 50 years old” — is yet another way I know I’m finally an adult. Fifty sounds like a definite adult age. Twenty, even 30 years old, you can still chalk up your mistakes to not knowing better. But by the time you’re 50, there are no excuses. The fact is you did know better but did it anyway.
And I kind of like that about being 50!
If I had to create a list of all the ways one knows they are finally an adult, it would go something like this:
1. Eat fish on a regular basis. And like it!
2. Ketchup is only for burgers and fries. It goes on nothing else.
3. You worry about the sugar content in ketchup and wonder if it will affect your blood glucose test in the morning.
4. Everyone wants to run tests on you now. That’s because apparently, our organ warranty runs at 50 and things start to break down. So right before that happens, they run all these tests on you to tell you how much longer you’ve got under the hood.
5. Your used to have the coolest sunglasses. Ha! Try find sunglass readers that are cool. In fact try find sunglass readers at all. All those people on the beach, just laying there, not reading — they are adults for sure!
6. You carry gum in your purse. And cough drops. And tissues.
7. You wonder if you’re watering your plants too much and ask friends what it means when the leaves turn brown just at the tips. The friends you hang around with now, actually know the answer.
8. You take up growing orchids.
9. When anyone under the age of 35 is talking to you, you can’t focus on what they’re saying — you just keep looking at their skin.
10. You turn on the television and see that Vanna White it still on Wheel of Fortune. You can remember when she first started and immediately google “How old is Vanna White?” She must be 100 years old by now!
Google responds ... and you find out she is only a few years older than you!
That’s when you finally know — you and Vanna are officially adults now.
Telling Tales is written by Wilson County’s Angel Kane and Becky Andrews. This column is Angel’s.