I know it’s been a while and I’m sorry about that. It’s just that since You did nothing when Prince Harry and Megan Markle stepped down from royal duties, my faith began to wane. Kidding! You know I like to open my prayers on a light note.

I’m sure You are aware of all that’s been going on lately. What with the global pandemic, murder hornets, tornadoes, the 2020 elections, volatile stock market, and other natural disasters, it’s been pretty tough on all of us emotionally and financially.

Now I’m not saying we don’t deserve a little hardship. It was greed, wasn’t it? Or was it how we all tried to buy our way into modern-day salvation with fancy cars, obnoxious housing, expensive vacations, and ‘questionable’ Facebook relationships? We didn’t worry about money. Nope, we just worried about the other ‘M’ word, MORE. Nobody noticed our worry, though. How could they when Botox erased any hint of emotion?

Up to 2020, most of us have experienced some form of overindulgence. We’ve all been affected by COVID-19, lack of toilet paper, and Tiger King. I mean, seriously, what is going on with TV programming? Thank God — or You, for season four of “The Crown.” If I have to watch another preview of “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” I’m going to scream. Of course, I’ll DVR it because how will I ever find out about Kim’s new diet.

I feel like 2021 would have been a better year to force us to be at home together round the clock. Why during an election year, God? 2020 should have been the year for families to argue about what really matters like, who killed Carol Baskin’s husband, not politics.

So back to my prayer, God. Part of me would like to say, “Enough already! Help us with a vaccine for COVID. Bring back a strong housing market, honest politicians, a thriving stock market, gatherings of more than 10 people, and Carole Baskin’s husband.” But then where would the lesson be?

Truth is, we needed a reset. We spent too much time working, stressing, scrolling, and missing out on what really matters. So instead of demanding You do something about all of the discomfort, I’ll be patient with scientists working feverishly to create a vaccine. I’ll remember that the housing market, just like the washing machine, goes through cycles. After the spin cycle, things calm down.

The politician thing is probably a moot point since we are supposed to keep you two — You (God) and Them (politicians) — separate. Maybe You can just help us be more mindful of criticisms we make about our leaders. One person didn’t cause the mess we seem to be in now, and one person can’t save us from it either. Remind us that politicians don’t call us on our birthdays or drop off groceries when we’re quarantining. So don’t lose relationships over disagreements about them. And help those politicians remember they probably got into politics to make a change, not capture more votes or attention. It takes a village, geez! I get it that the stock market is unpredictable. But something needs to be done about that irritatingly buzzed out trading floor. No wonder traders have high blood pressure and high divorce rates. And I’m keenly aware that it was Carol Baskin who determined the fate of her husband. I’d just like him to confirm it.

Before closing, I’d like to say thank you for everything. Because in spite of it all; corona lockdown, face masks, lousy TV, social media, and a mother-in-law who lives next door, I am happy with all You’ve given me, except for the stretch marks … that was just mean. It feels a little weird saying this to the Almighty but, good job!

AMEN

Telling Tales is written by Wilson County’s Becky Andrews and Angel Kane. This column is Becky’s.

Telling Tales is written by Wilson County’s Becky Andrews and Angel Kane. This column is Becky’s.

Telling Tales is written by Wilson County's Becky Andrews and Angel Kane. This column is Becky's.

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